The Unique Challenges Fathers Face in Family Law
While navigating through the legal system in a family law matter can be grueling for either party, fathers have their own unique challenges.  Having had the opportunity to represent fathers in family law cases in Denver and Colorado Springs, I can appreciate the problems many of them must confront in a system that has not always appeared to be gender neutral. Because of the situations many men find themselves in, it is always a good idea to talk to a family law attorney as early as possible, even if only to get some correct information in how to deal with the many issues men must confront. Many men, however, suffer silently and then find themselves having to react to events that can, at least initially, compromise their rights as a father.
Although every case is different, an all too typical case is when a man comes to an attorney’s office once he has been served an Emergency Temporary Restraining Order. This is Order comes about when the opposing party files an Emergency Petition in court without notice to the other side alleging that some threat or danger exists where she and/or the children need protection.  The Order has powerful remedies and can result, among other things, in the father not being able to see his children as well as his being kicked out of the home. These Orders are often granted despite the severe remedies and lack of due process to the opposing party. It is understandable that a judge would want to err on the side of caution; what if the one case presenting itself is the one case could turn out to be a horrible tragedy which could have been avoided with an issuance of Temporary Restraining Order. While it is unequivocal that these Temporary Restraining Orders are essential in some cases, it does appear that some parties may use this very powerful tool as a way to gain an unfair advantage, especially when a divorce or other type of breakup appears imminent.
While the law does require the courts to conduct a full hearing soon after these Orders are entered which allows the man to tell his side of the story and to have the opposing party subject to cross-examination, by then he is in a more vulnerable position.  He has been out of the house and away from the children and often feels completely displaced and is trying to recover from the shock. In my experience, within a reasonably short amount of time, I have been able to “undo†some of the damage that has occurred to bring things back to a level ground for the client; however, it is a source of stress and some expense that many clients would have preferred to avoid.
It would behoove fathers and men to come see a family law attorney at the very hint of domestic strife, if only to get good information and to work on a proactive strategy with a legal representative that can help them look forward and focus on what it most important.   Depending on what is going on in the household, men need to be wary of any disagreements or arguments that could lead to an allegation against them that could trigger a Temporary Restraining Order.  If the police are called, often men are not believed and then the wheels could be set in motion for a criminal or civil complaint that can put the father in an unfair advantage, causing further emotional and financial stress.Â
Many law firms, such as ours, provide free consultations which can be worth their weight in gold.  By getting good legal counsel before things fall apart, a father can set up a workable strategy before any major problems unfold. This will enable the father to focus on his child (ren) and other important matters without falling so readily into the raw emotions that often accompany this stressful period.  Once these systems are in place, the parties will have a workable structure to move forward in a healthier way for themselves and for their children.
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