Family Law, Divorce, Custody and Child Support Attorneys in Colorado Springs, Colorado

Visitation vs. Parenting Time

Here’s another one of those areas in family law where you can tell the difference between someone who does this for a living and someone who doesn’t. The latter talk about “parenting time“, while the former, about “visitation”.

Once again, Colorado chooses to talk about time with your kids in terms of responsibilities before rights. Parenting time means you have a responsibility to act like a parent while you are with your kids. It means doing homework, providing a good example, having rules, and generally looking out for their well-being. Compare this to the word “visitation” which has no responsibility attached to it and conjures images of a hospital or prison.

So we got you to view this page using an improper word but one that the general public still circulates. From now on we will – and you should – only talk in terms of parenting time schedules.

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Elements of a Good Plan

A good parenting plan develops from a joint effort of the parents, focusing on the needs of the children, that advance their development. It is child focused, provides frequency and consistency and both parents feel vested in it, since they worked together to develop it.

Child focused parenting plans arise from a careful consideration of the developmental needs of the child first. Developmental needs are generally age based, though not always. Parents should then consider educational activities in developing the schedule – since your daughter has a spelling test every Friday, who should she be staying with Thursday night? But good plans also consider extracurricular activities, extended family and friends.

A consideration of the frequency of parenting time with each parent is also important in developing a good parenting schedule. Often this goes hand in hand with the developmental needs. For example, very young children require a high degree of frequency in order to establish an early relationship with the parents. Older kids generally do not require that same degree of frequency since their relationship is probably already established.

Consistency is likewise an important element of any good parenting plan. When your child knows the schedule and can anticipate where they will be at any given time, they feel more in control and secure.

Finally, the best parenting plans are developed by both parents, together. This is true not only because of the additional input and perspective each parent brings to the development process, but most importantly because it vests them in the plan. They own it. They developed it, understand it, and agreed to it. While they might not like every aspect of the plan, they will understand the importance of sticking by it. Good parenting plans, that are successful in the long term, almost invariably were jointly developed by the parents.

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Can We Modify Our Parenting Plan?

Absolutely! Courts will encourage flexibility and cooperation in the exercise of a good parenting plan. Modifications are, in fact, extremely common. In some cases, a modified schedule is the norm!

It’s impossible to anticipate the needs of your children in 6 months, much less 2 or 3 years from now. Things come up like birthday parties, and out of town relatives and ski trips and who knows what else. You will seek just as many modifications as the other parent! Accommodating each other, and making an effort to be sure the kids don’t miss out on these activities can only pay off later when it’s your turn for a modification.

Some modifications require the parties to go back to Court, or at least file a written Stipulation signed by both parents. For example, if a parent wants to move out of state with the children and it wasn’t addressed in the original plan, you will need an Order from the court. Other modifications might not, for example you need to switch Saturday for Sunday because of your daughter’s soccer game.

Most judges will love the fact that the parents can work together to make modifications, large and small. Not only does it help free up their docket for other cases, but judges know that when parents are able to work together the kids see it, learn from it, and are generally happier kids because of it.

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